Mentor Monday: More on the Power of a Single Word

A few weeks ago, I wrote about cutting words and the importance one word can have on a story’s trajectory. I thought it would be fun this week to look at some of the ways one word might have changed some popular novels.

I’ve substituted a word in each quotation. If you’re familiar with any of these books, you might pick out the change immediately. If you haven’t read a particular book, I’ve repeated the quotation correctly in the second part of this post. Notice how much one word can change your opinion of a character or the expectations you have for the story:

1. “Where’s Papa going with that sandwich?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast. (Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White)

2. “When Mary Lennox was sent to Misslethwaite Manor to live with her uncle everybody said she was the most beautiful-looking child ever seen. It was true, too.”
(The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett).

3. “They say Maniac Magee was born in a cabin.” (Maniac Magee by Jerry Spinelli)

4. “There is no dock at Camp Green Lake.” (Holes, by Louis Sachar)

5. “When May laughed, Ob came back to the trailer, got out of his good suit and into his regular clothes, then went and sat in the Chevy for the rest of the night. (Missing May by Cynthia Rylant).

6. “Gilly,” said Miss Ellis with a shake of her long blonde hair toward the passenger in the back seat. “I need to feel that you are willing to make some brownies.” (The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson.


I’ve picked 6 books that are either considered classics and/or were Newbery winners or honor books. When you re-read these quotes again, you get a sense of how carefully the author chose each word in his/her story.


1. “Where’s Papa going with that ax?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast. (sandwich vs. ax—which word adds more tension?)

2. “When Mary Lennox was sent to Misslethwaite Manor to live with her uncle everybody said she was the most disagreeable-looking child ever seen. It was true, too.”
(beautiful vs. disagreeable—how do you feel about Mary when you’ve read each version?)

3. “They say Maniac Magee was born in a dump.” (cabin vs. dump—is your curiosity aroused about this child?)

4. “There is no lake at Camp Green Lake.” (dock vs. lake—what’s the big deal? Don’t you want to know?)

5. “When May died, Ob came back to the trailer, got out of his good suit and into his regular clothes, then went and sat in the Chevy for the rest of the night. (laughed vs. died—how does this one word change your emotional perception?)

6. “Gilly,” said Miss Ellis with a shake of her long blonde hair toward the passenger in the back seat. “I need to feel that you are willing to make some effort.” (brownies vs. effort—Lifetime movie about the Food Channel or a story about a difficult child?)


All of these quotes are opening lines. Each sentence sets the tone for the story the author plans to tell. One different word can change the reader’s expectation of the kind of story that’s about to be read. One word can make us like or dislike a character and also make us want to learn why we have such strong feelings.

Look at your own work. How does your story open? Is there one, better, word that you can use to hook your reader?