Mentor Monday: Keeping up the Pace

I read Kathryn Stockett’s The Help while on vacation recently. I couldn’t put it down. I started to think about what that phrase, “couldn’t put it down,” means. Why is it that some books keep us up at night turning pages and preventing sleep while other books are sleep-inducing?

I believe part of the reason lies with the pacing of the novel. The story grabs you right from the start and takes you along much like the hook grabbing the front cart of a roller coaster. A good story won’t let go and just when you get to the top of the first rise, it drops you. The tension repeats and repeats until you can hardly stand it and then…the writer gives you a break. The next section you read is quieter, perhaps descriptive, giving your imagination time to catch its breath. But the ride’s not over. Soon you’re climbing another hill. You hold on, refusing to let go because you don’t want to miss a minute.

Jordan E. Rosenfeld, in a 2007 article for The Writer (February) called pacing (or the action of a story) “The Heartbeat of Fiction.” He suggested that “Scenes should be created in a physical setting that feels real, and should contain action, new information for the reader, and dramatic tension all of which is usually accomplished by putting the characters in some kind of conflict or danger.”

Beware of excess exposition. Don’t worry about telling your reader, right from the beginning, what your character looks like, sounds like, is wearing, what time it is, which room he’s in, etc. Get into the action right away. Your reader won’t care about the who as much as the who + the what. That is, what’s happening to the protagonist.

Rosenfeld states that action is “comprised of all the elements a reader can ‘witness’ taking place. From physical movement to spoken dialogue, action transports your readers into your writing and brings your writing to life.”

As you revise, check the pacing of your story. Give your readers the ride of their life. Check for:

√ A hook on the very first page

√ Well-constructed scenes

√ Revealing dialogue

√ Occasional flashbacks (don’t have your character say “Remember the time…” Put your character in the scene. Describing a memory creates a passive, boring scene.

√ Pay attention to the character’s body language. A hand that trembles while the character is writing her name, for example, tells the reader more than the phrase “She was nervous.” And it ups the tension.

√ Leave the last scene in the chapter open. Make your reader need to turn the page.

√ Occasionally give your reader a break. Use a little humor or a little exposition to slow the pace after a particularly tension-filled scene. But don’t linger too long. Your reader wants to get caught up in the action again.

Breaking Into (and Out Of) Print—Part Four

Yesterday I wore my publisher’s hat to talk about people who say they want to write, but end up sabotaging their own careers. Here’s my final take:


4) They fail to keep connections. I can tell who the true professionals are:

*They pay attention to the dates on their contracts.
*They check in.
*They let me know if there’s a problem early enough so we can deal with it.
*They help me promote their books by mentioning them at workshops, on their web sites, blogs, Facebook, or Twitter.

These are the people I send extra work to. These are the people I ask to help launch new series. These are the people who are building a career.

Unfortunately, there are many writers that blow their first professional connections.

The sad tale of Ms. X. The beginning of her writing career with me started well. She completed the work I’d given her in a timely manner. As such, I assigned her five, 550-word profiles in a series of three books that I wanted to send to print on the same date. For these types of stories, I usually give the writers a month per profile, start to finish. I want to see a first draft in about two weeks and the final version two weeks after that.

I know, a month to write a less than 600 words will seem like a lot of time to some of you. But, in this case research and, sometimes, interviews are involved.

I assigned these profiles last November & December, 2010 with the first draft due in January, 2011 (after all the holiday chaos—so writers actually got extra time on this batch). The final drafts for this series were due in May, 2011. Ms. X sent in her first draft on time, along with some questions about one of the other profiles.

And that was the last time I heard from her. Until May. I was putting the books together and realized that I was missing five manuscripts, all belonging to Ms. X. When I contacted her, she apologized, said she’s had a new job she was getting used to, she’d had to move, etc. As much as I felt sympathy for her plight, I was also angry. We could have worked all these things out. Life happens!

There was no way she could get 4 profiles and a revision to me in a decent amount of time. Suddenly, the 3 books I’d hoped to have for a fall promotion, were dead in the water. Not only that, but my printer had offered me a deal: I was actually going to print 5 new books and do a reprint of one of our other titles. By doing six books at once, I could get a much better price. Ms. X had managed to single-handedly delay six books on the list!

I scrambled to find other writers to complete some of Ms. X’s work. I’d already paid her the advances for these projects. We had to re-negotiate our scheduled date with the printer. Pre-sold books that had been promised for September weren’t going to be ready for our customers. Our web site announcements had to be revised. And here’s the kicker: while Ms. X was NOT handing in the work she’d contracted with me, I saw her post on a writers’ list asking about submitting to other publishers.

Hmmmm…. I thought, you DO realize other people (like publishers and editors) read these lists, too, don’t you? And, by the way, if you’ve got time to put together résumés, and post on lists, shouldn’t you first do the work you’ve already contracted to do?

So this is how connections are lost. I would have been happy to recommend Ms. X to any other publisher. Now I cannot. I also cannot ever hire her again. I can’t afford to.

What's your real attitude about becoming a professional writer? Remember that it's not just talent and luck. It's dependability, tenacity, and good connections.

Breaking Into (and Out Of) Print—Part Three

Last week we discussed ways to get a by-line or two while working on your main project(s). I said that I feel that doing so allows you to feel like a “real” writer.

A career in the arts is one that is built on past successes. Unlike most jobs, you don’t go in to work every day and complete your required production with a guaranteed payment each week. In the arts, whether it is acting, music, painting, or writing, your career is always built on the things you did recently. The job of the artist is to make others want more of what we have to offer.

Think about it: are you more excited to hear a new song by a performer you’ve come to love or one you’ve never heard of? Do you automatically buy a book by an unknown author or one by a writer you’ve enjoyed before?

One of today’s buzz words is “branding.” Artists and writers have always developed their own “brands.” You can easily tell a Picasso from a Monet. Taylor Swift’s songs don’t sound like Lady Gaga’s. As you write, you are developing work that you hope others will learn to recognize.

Having met and worked with many writers, I am still amazed at the number of people who say they want a career but don’t treat writing as a career. Here are some ways they break out of print:

1) They don’t set aside time to write regularly. It doesn’t have to be every day. My first novel was written primarily on Saturday afternoons. I was teaching elementary school and had three young children. I’m not one of those people who can get up an hour or two earlier or write late into the evening. With the help of a very supportive spouse, Saturday afternoons, though, were mine.

2) They don’t do their homework. They send picture book manuscripts to houses that only accept agented material. They send novel synopses to houses that only do picture books about nature. In short, they waste time, postage, and some editorial assistant’s time, and make a lousy first impression.


3) They fail to use connections. They go to writers’ conferences and get critiqued, but they don’t listen to what the editor said, so they don’t revise. Many times, I’ve heard writers come out of critiques with this bit of conversation: “The editor liked my story but they just did a picture book about a frog. She asked me what else I had.”

When an editor asks you what else you have in your writing pile she’s saying: I like your stuff. I like your style. I’d really like to find a place for you in our list.


If you don’t write regularly, you don’t have anything else to send. Connection lost.

We'll wrap up tomorrow with point #4 as well as a cautionary tale.

Breaking Into (and Out Of) Print—Part Two

Yesterday I suggested that in order to get published and begin to feel like a “real” writer, that you put away your current project and look at some alternatives. Today we continue with my final suggestions.

#4 Start a blog.
You don’t have to write a lot or every day but pick a theme and commit to it. Write regularly so your followers know that they can depend on you. Blogging allows the previously unpublished writer to have a platform and let the world know that you have a skill with words.If you manage to commit to it, you are also proving that you are dependable and, as I mentioned yesterday, can write to a deadline—even if the deadline is one you created.

I think blogging is one of the best things on the web. This option did not exist when we Write Sisters were getting started. Take advantage of this gift!

#5 a) Prepare a résumé.

If you haven’t been published yet, your résumé may include some related experience that you’ve had such as writing curriculum for a particular age group. Or, another way to break in is to send a writing sample. My publishing company, Apprentice Shop Books, specializes in non-fiction. We don’t accept freelance submissions as all of our series are developed in-house. So, how do you break in to this kind of publishing house? One writer studied our “America’s Notable Women” series. Each book tells the story of 25 outstanding women from a particular state. I generally hire 5 to 10 writers to complete each book. They write 1 to 5 of the profiles in any given book.

One person I did not know broke in by submitting an entry for a state that we had not yet covered. She modeled the word count, readability level, and required additional matter. I could see that she “got it.” I kept her work on file. Just a short time later, one of my writers faced an emergency and had to bow out of part of her assignment. I needed someone to complete two 550-word profiles in a very short turn-around time. Guess who got the job?


#5b) If you completed #2 above and managed to publish some short pieces, your résumé might include the clips you’ve started to accumulate. What if you’ve sold a piece but it hasn’t been published yet? Send a clean (unedited) copy of the work with a note that says, “This (article, story, filler) was purchased by Junior Traveler magazine for their September 2013 issue.”

So, in short, write something different. Doing so will serve a number of purposes. You will get some distance from the primary piece you’re creating. You’ll work some different parts of your brain. If you’re writing fiction, research some non-fiction topics. If you’re writing a novel, try some poetry. You’ll probably get to see your name in print much sooner and have the ability to feel like a “real” writer instead of a wanna-be.

Next week, I’ll put my publisher’s hat on and talk about how some writers shoot themselves in the foot and derail their careers.

Breaking Into (and Out Of) Print

You want to see your name in print. You’ve been working on a novel or picture book. You have submitted chapters and summaries or an entire manuscript. It takes forever to get an answer from the super-busy editors and their assistants.

What can you do in the mean time?

This week and next I’d like to share how-to-get-and-stay published information while wearing two hats: that of a published writer and also as a publisher.

First, Mur-the-writer:

I firmly believe that it is psychologically helpful to get some kind of by-line—even before that first big break. I remember being told that if I was going to be a writer, I had to think of myself as a writer. However, it’s not easy for many of us to do so because of conversations like the following:

“What do you do?”

“I’m a writer.”

“What have you written?”

The correct answer, of course, is, “Lots and lots of stuff that nobody’s printed yet.” But who wants to say that? To avoid that whole conversation, I used to tell people I did word-processing at home. It was true (I was using a word-processor) and the job sounded boring so no one ever asked me to elaborate. But there’s a way around that issue. Don’t limit yourself to one concept about the kind of writer you should be. Open yourself to other possibilities. That’s what the Write Sisters have done and following our suggestions just might work for you, too.

I’m going to start with suggestion #2 since I’m going to assume that if you’ve been following this blog you’re already doing # 1 (Writing). So….

#2 Collect some publishing credits or clips. Any credits. Any clips. If you have to, do it for free. It’ll make you feel like a writer.

a) Volunteer to write short articles for church bulletins (as I did), school or business newsletters.

b) Send fillers, sports team news, or press releases about school activities to your local newspapers. What do these pieces have to do with writing for kids? Sometimes, nothing, BUT you are proving that you can be counted on to complete a project. You are practicing your craft. You are working within a time limit. Some of Diane’s early clips included puzzles for the Christian Science Monitor’s children’s page. Puzzles are not picture books you say. True, but a by-line is a by-line is a by-line.

#3 Educate yourself about available markets.

a) Subscribe to newsletters like the SCBWI Bulletin and the Children’s Writer.
While reading one of these newsletters, I noticed that Capstone Press was looking for writers. I put together a package of clips. I included pieces written for various age groups. A few weeks later, I got a call and an assignment.

b) Read current children’s magazines. Pay attention to style, word count, types of articles. Early in her career, Kathy sold some rebus stories to Highlights. I sold a health puzzle to Jack & Jill. These fillers are an important part of a magazine’s monthly output. Child readers need breaks between longer stories. Puzzles, games, poems, and short fillers give kids that break.

c) Pay attention to themes. Magazine themes are usually planned a year in advance. Holiday pieces need to be sent 6 months to a year ahead of publication. Do you have an unusual holiday craft, tradition, or recipe? Write it up. Have you traveled somewhere interesting? Write it up.

d) Use your research and writing activities more than once. Say you’re writing a picture book about black bears. Your book is fiction but you’ve done some research on what black bears eat. Maybe you can produce a short piece on some of the odd things these omnivores have been known to eat. When I was writing my Sarah Hale biography, I sold a story about Hale’s determination to get a national Thanksgiving holiday to Highlights. I sold a piece on her methods of editing to Writers’ Digest.

More on this topic tomorrow.

Poetry Friday--Thanks for the Memories

Last Friday, Muriel asked if teachers have time to let children memorize poems. I'm guessing, probably not. What a shame. I understand that today's students face a slew of curriculum requirements, and today's teachers barely have time to cover those mandated requirements. That doesn't make it any less a shame.

I'm glad that I teach preschool. Reciting simple rhymes and singing songs are expected parts of the curriculum. What many people don't know, is that little children are capable of so much more. My students have happily memorized Robert Frost's Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening and Emily Dickinson's A Bird Came Down the Walk. A few years ago, a mother of one of my kindergarten students told me she was moved to tears when she realized that her 5-year old was softly reciting Stopping By Woods to himself as they drove through a light snow. I bet that poem will still be with him when he's an old man.

Mur got me thinking about poems I've been carrying around for decades. Many of them came from Sister Genevieve St. Joseph. Barberries is one. (I tried unsuccessfully to search out the author.) A Bird Came Down the Walk by Emily Dickinson is another. I'd have to say my favorite, however, is a snippet of a much larger work. It's the first twelve lines of The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer.

Whan that aprill with his shoures soote
The droghte of march hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan zephirus eek with his sweete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
Tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the ram his halve cours yronne,
And smale foweles maken melodye,
That slepen al the nyght with open ye
(so priketh hem nature in hir corages);
Thanne longen folk to goon on pilgrimages ...

I had to memorize it for an English class my sophomore year in college. I spent hours in the language lab, gigantic headphones gripping my skull, trying to nail the pronunciation. There were probably 50 of us enrolled in the class. Guess who was the only person the professor randomly picked to recite. I achieved the pinnacle of panic when I heard my name called, which was really very silly because I nailed it. I owned Geoffrey Chaucer that day. Still do.

Today's Poetry Friday Round-Up host is Picture Book of the Day.

Poetry Friday--Poems Turned Picture Books

Four or five years ago, the Write Sisters gathered in Kathy's kitchen to critique one Friday night. Janet brought an adult poem to run by us. She was thinking she might send it to Yankee Magazine, and wondered if we thought it was a good fit. She read Sail Away, Little Boat, and the decision was unanimous. Ditch Yankee Magazine. With just a little tweaking, she could turn that old poem into a picture book. (That's my nod to Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney, who turned many an old barn into a theater.)

Being open-minded, Janet gave it a whirl. She tweaked and toned her poem, and sent it off to Ellen Stein at Carolrhoda. Ellen loved it, and signed up Janet's poem-turned-picture-book for Carolrhoda's Spring 2006 catalog. Just like that. No rejections. No hand-wringing. No self-doubt.

And now Janet has joined the ranks of picture book poets, among them Clement L. Moore with The Night Before Christmas, Robert Frost with Runaway, Arnold L. Shapiro with Mice Squeak, We Speak, and our own Kathy Deady with All Year Long. I'd say Janet's in pretty good company, but you can judge for yourself.

"Let's launch our boat through the wild, roving brook
And watch as it slides and swirls through the nooks
Of a root-tangled bank where deer like to eat
The tasty green moss growing thick at their feet."

"Sail Away, Little Boat to search for new friends.
Just follow the brook, till it reaches its end."

"Past the slicky-back otter and his slippery friends
Who rollick and roll through the brook as it bends
Over smooth rocks and cool rocks, a wild water ride
As lickety-split the sleek otters slide."

"Past the bullfrogs that hide in a thick cattail forest
And croak out the notes of their splish-splashy chorus."

--Andy

This week's Poetry Friday Roundup is at Read. Imagine. Talk.

Portsmouth WOG Sighting!

Three of the Write Sisters managed to connect with another WOG subject. Yesterday, Muriel, my "civilian" pals Lynne Barret and Kathy Winn, and I headed into Portsmouth to hear Doris "Granny D." Haddock speak at the South Church. We hooked up with Diane on State Street at Re-Enhabit, my cousin Jodie Curtis's store. Jodie is a sales genius and shared tons of great tips for getting Women of Granite: 25 New Hampshire Women You Should Know (WOG) and the other books in Mur’s Apprentice Shop Books' catalog into stores. She pointed out that these are exactly the kinds of books (well-written, interesting subjects, relevant to the area) that do extremely well in touristy towns such as Portsmouth. We talked with her for about an hour (actually Jodie gave us a crash course in the fine art of sales), and then went to Popovers in Market Square for an outdoor dinner.

Dinner on the sidewalk in Portsmouth is a people-watching extravaganza. The Leftist Marching Band just happened to be playing at a peace rally on the corner right next to Popovers. The band was a colorful mix of old and young hippies attired appropriately and adorned with some of the best body art this side of Seattle. We arrived just in time for the don’t-shop-at Walmart sing-along. Regardless of your feelings about Walmart or your political leanings, they were fantastic. Democracy in action is a beautiful thing. Dinner was mighty tasty, too.

After the band finished, who should appear from the dispersing crowd but Doris “Granny D.” Haddock! She wore her trademark feathered hat, and the only concession to her 98 years was a pair of escorts, one on either side. Lynne snapped a couple of great pictures, and we told Granny we were looking forward to her speech that evening.

We spent the rest of our time in Market Square talking about the literary world's designated next big thing, Brunonia Barry's first novel The Lace Reader (William Morrow, 2008). This originally self-published book ended up going for better than 2 million dollars at auction. At that price, it better be the literary world’s next big thing. Anyway, both Lynne and Kathy live in Salem, Massachusetts, where The Lace Reader is set. They said that the buzz surrounding this book is phenomenal. Salem, a huge tourist town, has even added a Lace Reader Tour to the tourist trolley schedule.

After dinner we headed to the South Church, passing Granny D. and her escorts on our way. (Not much of a feat, really. The woman is 98-years old, after all.) Granny D.'s speech was absolutely inspiring! There aren’t many folks left who remember first-hand women winning the right to vote. She was 10-years old at the time, and recounted how excited and proud her mother was at the prospect of casting her first vote. She made the crowd laugh when she told how her mother turned to her father and asked, “Who should I vote for?” She was quick to point out that was the one and only election for which she sought his advice.

Granny D. remembered trying to bring her father into the Democratic Party. He was a Lincoln Republican (as in personally remembers Lincoln!) and a hard sell. Can you imagine in the year 2008 being able to say that your father was a contemporary of Abraham Lincoln? It’s stunning, really.

We presented Doris with a copy of WOG, and ended up creating a little WOG buzz within the crowd. We are finding that once people learn about WOG, they always want to hear more.

Oh, and guess who else was spotted on State Street yesterday. Jeanne Shaheen, another of our WOG subjects! Diane saw the Governor and her husband strolling past Re-Enhabit shortly before Mur and I arrived.

It was a veritable WOG festival in Portsmouth yesterday!

People Are Talking

Have you seen The Hippo? It's a local news, food, arts and entertainment weekly published out of Manchester, New Hampshire. Check out page 47 of the July 17-23, 2008 edition for a review of Women of Granite: 25 New Hampshire Women You Should Know by Janet Buell and the rest of the Write Sisters. Here are a few snippets from Lisa Parson's review.

• "For kids needing summer reading material, Women of Granite is a good one. For grownups, it's a good book to surf through -- won't take long and you'll learn something."
• "It brings Harriet Wilson (the country's first published African-American novelist) to life more than anything else I've read about her, and the same goes for Granny D, the 90-some-year-old who walked across the nation encouraging people to get involved in politics."
  
• "It lives up to its title: these are women you should know, and so the book tells you about them . . . It's just about the sheer accomplishments of women."

Hurray us, and thanks to Ms. Parson for the nod. If I didn't already own the book, I'd run right out and get it.

The review wasn't entirely a lovefest, however. Ms. Parson took exception to a few of our glossary words, including butterfly and workout. I'll give her workout. That one slipped under the radar for sure, but she can't have butterfly. That was included not because kids wouldn't be able to pronounce it without help, but because it defined a swimming stroke done by Olympian Jenny Thompson.

I also have one teeny tiny correction. Ms. Parson said our illustrator was Janet Greenleaf. It was, in fact, Lisa Greenleaf. It's just one of those crazy little things that slip under the radar. Kind of like workout.

If you just can't wait to check out our review in The Hippo, your can read it here online.

Research Ramblings

I stopped by the Harvey-Mitchell Memorial Library this morning. I’m researching Eunice Kennedy Shriver and Maria Shriver for Apprentice Shop’s 25 Women You Should Know series, and needed to interlibrary loan a couple of books. HMML actually had one of the books I wanted, so I picked up The Kennedy Women: The Saga of an American Family by Laurence Leamer (Villard Books 1994). The trick is going to be confining my reading to Eunice and Maria. Love them or loathe them, there’s no denying this is one fascinating family. I happen to like them.

My father actually knew John Kennedy when Kennedy was a young Senator. Daddy was fresh out of law school and living in Washington, D.C. He met Kennedy while working at the Department of the Navy writing speeches for Admiral Rickover. The two rode the senators’ underground train together, zipping around beneath the Capitol, talking about whatever it is two young World War II veterans from Massachusetts might talk about.

I love that I’m writing about Eunice and Maria. All this Kennedy research is pushing memories of my father, who has been dead 29 long years, to the front of my mind. Thank you, Shriver women.

MADAPPLE

MADAPPLE
By Christina Meldrum
Knopf 2008

Madapple is the story of two births and three murders, and at the center of them all is Aslaugh, a teenage girl who lives with her mother in Hartswell, Maine. I don’t know if Hartswell is a fictitious town or not but, real or fictitious, I’m certain it lies in close proximity to Stephen King’s town of Castle Rock.

Aslaugh lives with her mother who is a little . . . well . . . strange. They have almost no contact with the outside world. They forage for plants and greens to eat and cure themselves of their ills. Aslaugh is educated at home and taught science and languages and everything you can think of except religion. Aslaugh’s mother believes religion is merely superstition, and yet she hints to Aslaugh that she was born of a virgin birth.

One night, their next door neighbor sees Aslaugh burying her mother in the back yard. The police are called, Aslaugh is arrested, but eventually acquitted. She goes to the nearby town of Bethan to live with her aunt and two cousins. Her aunt is the head of a charismatic church. She has a daughter a few years older than Aslaugh, and a son the same age. The daughter has been curious about Aslaugh all her life, and sets out to prove she was born of a virgin birth. The son is less fanatical and he and Aslaugh form a close bond.

When Aslaugh turns up pregnant, we are left wondering if she has had sex with her cousin, been visited by God, or ravaged by the devil. It might even have been that butterfly she ate. Meldrum made me believe all these things were possible. She weaves science, religion, myth and folklore together throughout the story, raising question after question that keeps you turning the pages.

Eventually, there are more deaths for which Aslaugh is blamed, but Meldrum sets up the story perfectly so that you never know the truth until almost the very last page.

The story is told in alternating chapters of story and courtroom scenes, and the courtroom scenes are where we get many of the answers to the questions raised. But Meldrum never gives us all the answers, not until the very end. It was a page turner all the way.

And the icing on the cake is that it is well written. There is no slogging through sloppy writing here. The jacket copy says this is Meldrum’s first novel. I’m hoping she’ll write a lot more.

We are Washington Bound!

After spending a good part of the last year writing profiles for the Women of series, it was a kick to actually meet one of our subjects. Former New Hampshire governor Jeanne Shaheen was slated to march in the Amherst 4th of July parade, and we took the opportunity to connect with her. She's in the midst of her senatorial bid, but we were able to nab a few moments of her time before she lead dozens of her supporters down Main Street.

What an incredibly gracious woman! Governor Shaheen was happy to learn that the New Hampshire Center for the Book selected Women of Granite to be the featured New Hampshire book at the National Book Festival in Washington, D.C. this September. This means at least seven New Hampshire women will be heading to D.C. this fall!

Pictured above from left to right are Sally Wilkins, Diane Mayr, Andy Murphy, Governor Jeanne Shaheen, Muriel Dubois, and Barbara Turner.

Killing Time at Logan

I'm reading Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. Mickey, a former student of mine entering 8th grade in the fall, said it was the best book she'd ever read. Ever. She loved it so much that she slowed down the pace of her reading because she didn't want it to end. So when I found myself with an hour to kill in the Cell Phone Waiting Lot at Logan Airport yesterday, I reached into my World's Greatest Teacher tote bag and pulled out the copy of Twilight I've been dragging around for the last month.

At first, I was distracted by all the "-ly" words. Quickly, sheepishly, gruffly, immediately, unwillingly, brightly, precariously, convincingly, hopefully, finally, gradually, tentatively, apprehensively, vaguely, excessively, devastatingly, quickly, critically, reluctantly, surreptitiously, inconspicuously, occasionally, loudly, carefully, exceptionally, quickly, appreciatively. Did I mention quickly? Things happen quickly in Meyer-world. A lot.

Okay, so the writing isn't anything to write home about. What about the characters? Bella annoyed me, and Edward's intensity was laughable.

I decided to stop reading like a writer, and start reading like a girl caught between 7th and 8th grade. I gave my inner critic the rest of the day off. I read past the adverbs and forced myself into Bella's head. My 13-year old self loved this book. I found Edward leap-frogging over Paul McCartney and Davy Jones to land at the top of my adolescent dream-boyfriend list.

That said, there are so many great books out there and so little time to get through them, I'm not sure if I'm going to finish this one or not. I know my 13-year old self wouldn't have closed the book before reaching the end. I can't say the same for my 53-year old self.

Research Rule #1: Don't Believe Everything You Read on the Internet

I've learned to check and double-check information gleaned from the internet. If somebody forwards an email touting the cancer cure Johns Hopkins has been hiding, I'll check the content at both Johns Hopkins and Snopes before spreading the good news. If I learn something brand spanking new about a research subject, I'll make certain the source is unimpeachable, and that I can reliably validate that information.

There are some things, however, that I do not question. If I read on the Fandango website that I can catch a showing of Iron Man at the Ioka Theater at 8 p.m., I'm going to believe it. And if I read on the Rebecca Nurse Homestead website that the hours starting June 15th include Thursdays from 10 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., I'll believe that, too. Silly me.

When I arrived at the homestead to sift through the remnants of Rebecca's life, it was closed. The two cars parked outside Rebecca's door lead me to believe somebody must be there, but my repeated knocks and calls of hello-oo went unanswered. I tried phoning the office on my cell, but got little satisfaction from the tinny voice on the answering machine. I left a slightly miffed message, then began roaming the homestead, snapping pictures.

Several clapboards had been replaced and not yet painted, the untreated wood slashing the home's red facade. A kitchen garden was unfolding outside the doorstep, it's neat little rows of corn just about knee high. Except for the two cars parked in the dooryard, I suspect things looked pretty much the same through Rebecca's eyes as they did through mine.

I wandered out to the cemetery where Rebecca's monument dominates the surrounding headstones. A second largish monument sits close to Rebecca's. It lists the names of the people who stood at her trial publicly testifying to her exemplary Christian character, brave souls all.

A pile of Putnams were buried over on the far side of the cemetery, direct descendants of the Putnams who accused Rebecca of witchcraft. How could such a revolting development not leave poor Rebecca eternally rolling in her grave?

As my visit wore on, my slight miffedness melted away. I was happy for the solitude and the chance to walk in Rebecca's footsteps. So what if I didn't get to go through the house? I had the run of the rest of the homestead. And I didn't have to pay $6.50 for the privilege.

Procrastination Vacation, Part Deux

The procrastination vacation continues with a field trip! I figure if I'm not going to be writing anyway, I may as well do something that advances the cause. I'm turning my attention to Rebecca Nurse and heading down to Danvers, MA to do a bit of research at the Rebecca Nurse Homestead. I lived on the North Shore years ago in both Danvers and Beverly, so I feel like I'm going home.

I actually visited the Rebecca Nurse Homestead when I was a kid, but I mustn't have been paying much attention. I remember very little about the homestead other than its centerpiece was a big old saltbox affair of a house. I also remember hoping to see a bedwarmer, like the haunted one flying around in an episode of Bewitched filmed at the House of Seven Gables in nearby Salem. Maybe because I used to live on the North Shore, or maybe because I completely loved Bewitched, I remember every last detail about that episode.

Which leads me back to writing. I want to write a Rebecca Nurse chapter for Women of the Bay State: 25 Massachusetts Women You Should Know which my young readers will remember into old age. It shouldn't be that difficult, considering how remarkable Rebecca's life was. It'll be even easier if the bedwarmers start flying around the homestead later today.

Shhh! Don't Tell!

I hope my executive editor doesn't see this. I'm supposed to be working on the final draft of Isabella Stewart Gardner for Women of the Bay State: 25 Massachusetts Women You Should Know, but somehow find myself between rounds of Chuzzle. I've decided to make it official and take a one-hour procrastination vacation.

It's not that I don't find Isabella fascinating. I do. Unburdened by the daily grind of keeping body and soul together, she did things only people with scads of money and a great sense of style can do. She had two diamonds fastened to springs and wore them like antennae. She traveled the world buying up Rembrandts, Botticellis, Titians, and Vermeers. She built an Italian-inspired palace on the Fenway in Boston to house her magnificent collection.

I bet Isabella never took a procrastination vacation.